We're All Queer Here
by OrzammarPrime
Summary: Herald of Andraste, Inquisitor, and Thedas' most famous bisexual, Cadash, has a long sexual history with women but is nervous and inexperienced with men. The Queer Crew of Skyhold are determined to get her laid. (f!Cadash/Blackwall) Written for kink meme.


"Truly?" The surprised question came from Blackwall. Sera didn't seem so shocked.

"Please, lookit her! Called it a mile away. You couldn't tell though, could you? 'Course not. You're not one of us." Sera leaned back in her chair and crossed her ankles on top of the table. Dorian made a noise of protest when she accidentally knocked his pint of ale and almost sent it flying into his lap.

Blackwall found himself in the tavern earlier that evening with plans to drink alone. The events of Haven were behind them but they still felt too real. He needed a few drinks to unwind. It wasn't until Sera had half-dragged him from his seat at the bar that he found himself at a table with unusual drinking companions. He got along with Bull and Sera as well as anyone, even if Dorian got under his skin. But Cadash? He wanted her under something else.

"Us?" Cadash and Dorian found themselves asking at the same time.

Sera gestured intentionally to herself, Cadash, Dorian, and Bull, skipping over Blackwall. "US, us. You know, us. The QUEERS. Bumping uglies with the same gender. Taking a snake in the snakehole. Munching carpets. Havin' a real orgasm!"

The Iron Bull pounded his meaty fist on the table, toppling the Inquisitor's empty mug. Cadash picked up the cup and called over her shoulder for another round. "Tactfully put as always. Thank you, Sera." Despite her admonishment there was a glint in her eyes and a smile tugging at her lips.

Blackwall's brow creased as he looked at the faces around the table. He was confused, that much was plain on his face. "All of you..?" A serving girl brought a round of ale to the table and traded the empty mugs for full ones. Bull's drink lasted all of 30 seconds.

"All of us." Bull confirmed. "I'm sort of a jack-of-all trades."

"Just the ladies." The elf spoke over the rim of her cup.

Dorian rolled his eyes and stroked his mustache with his index finger. There was a flush on his cheeks that gave away just how many drinks he'd had. "What did you say the other day, Sera? I'm 'strictly dickly'?" Blackwall's eyes grew wide and Sera cackled. Cadash spluttered on her drink, holding her hand up to her face to keep ale from snorting out of her nose.

"And you, my lady?" The Warden turned to the Inquisitor. She wouldn't meet his eyes. She could feel herself becoming flustered under his questioning stare.

"Well, yeah. I swing both ways. In theory."

"In theory?" It was Bull's turn to be confused.

"She's never sucked one off."

"What Sera _means_ to say-" Cadash's voice rose above Sera's giggling. "Is that I have had many intimate encounters with women but I've never had the opportunity to be sexually acquainted with a man. Not that I need to. I know what I like."

Blackwall was silent while he processed what he heard. It all came as a surprise to him. He had, by his own admission, been infatuated with Cadash since they had first spoken in Haven. He felt as though his whole idea of her had been flipped upside down. His feelings for her hadn't changed, and yet something was different. She felt farther away.

"...Crew." A pair of fingers snapped in his face. He blinked and met Sera's eyes. She was drunk.

"Pardon?"

"That's what we're called, innit? The Queer Crew. Me, Inky, Bull, and Dorian. Oh, lookit 'im! He's right shell shocked! You honestly didn't know? About Inky? Oh, that's too funny! I can tell just by the way she _stands_ , all squared hips and tense shoulders. Clenches her bum up real tight!" Sera teetered to her feet, doing her best to imitate the dwarf's stance. "You can tell when she wants to get into a scout's pants because her voice gets all low and commanding."

Cadash rubbed the back of her neck and stared into her drink. Blackwall couldn't tell if the color on her cheeks was from her drink or embarrassment. "That was only once, Sera, and we both know how that ended."

"Ooooh, yes! 'Thank you, Herald! You've been such a good friend to me! You really are so much nicer than they say you are!' The look on your face when you came back to camp!"

Dorian sighed in solidarity. "Yes, my friend, I am afraid that we have all found ourselves in similar situations." He'd stopped drinking and joined Cadash in staring into his cup, fingering the rim of the mug absentmindedly. "As sour as your luck with women may be, I would argue that your position with men is far more unfortunate."

Cadash finally looked up and groaned. "Why, yes, Dorian, thank you for reminding me. As if this isn't weighing on my mind constantly."

"What's the matter, my lady?" Blackwall's voice sent a shiver down her spine. She shifted in her seat, pressing her thighs together and wetting her lips. Bull noticed her reaction and got the most lecherous grin on his face.

"A lot of people just don't want to acknowledge the duality of my attractions. Apparently I can be attracted to men or women, but not both at the same time. Since it's no secret to the Inquisition that I've shared my bedroll with more than a few women, that's the only part of me that matters to them. I guess you could say they put me in a box."

Oh. Blackwall felt his own embarrassment clawing a whole in his gut. That's what he had done. That's what was so hard for him to grapple with, what was still hard for him to negotiate in his head. He had fancied her a woman who shared her bed with men and it was hard for him imagine she could want both. That she could have sexual history with women and still desire him.

But he was getting ahead of himself. There was little evidence of that.

"Now that's a shame. Your reputation in bed precedes you, Boss." Cadash could only assume that Bull winked at her, though it was hard to tell with the eye patch. "Tell you what, you ever need someone to pop your cork, you call me and we'll compare notes."

Blackwall cleared his throat and she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. "Thanks, Bull. We'll see. I've got something I'm working on." Dorian arched an eyebrow and shifted his gaze from Cadash to the Warden. His lips curled.

"Do tell us how this project of yours turns out."

The night wore on in much the same way. The same patrons filtered in and out of the tavern. Sera told lewd stories of her sexual exploits, Dorian started several arguments with young mages about the theory of time magic, and Blackwall pestered Bull for mercenary stories. Cadash brought round after round of drinks back to their table and shared her own stories from her days with the Carta. Eventually, Mayden put her lute away and a serving girl went around to snuff out candles. Sera threw back the last of her drink and announced that she was retiring for the night. Dorian drunkenly stood from his seat, steadying himself with Bull's sturdy horns.

"I just think you all might be interested to know that I am going to bed. Do try not to miss me too terribly." Bull stood to help Dorian to his room, easily the most sober of the group.

"Blackwall."

"Aye?"

Bull made a vague gesture towards the Inquisitor with his head as Dorian slumped into his arms. "Make sure she gets back to her room, would you?"

"Of course."

Cadash was across the tavern with a drink in her hand. She was laughing and chatting easily with Harding and one of the female scouts. She flashed them both a toothy grin and leaned across the table, her fingers brushing over the length of her neck flirtatiously. Harding giggled at something she said and bit her bottom lip. Blackwall watched Cadash intently. She was captivating. He saw the same confidence in her that he saw when she was on the battlefield. Her eyes were bright and calculating and she had a half smile that could surely put half the women in Thedas on their backs. He felt something pooling in his belly. It was between arousal and jealousy, but his cock twitched nonetheless. He cleared his throat as he drew near to the three women.

Cadash whipped her head and met his eyes for the first time that evening. Her cheeks were red and dewy from the alcohol. She gave him that same half smile she gave Harding as she unabashedly looked him up and down.

"My lady."

"Warden."

"I've been tasked with ensuring your safe return to your quarters."

She looked over his shoulder to Bull who waved and made a lewd gesture with his mouth on his way out the door.

"How very thoughtful." She finished her drink and thanked Harding and the scout for keeping her company. She stood on unsteady feet, lying to herself about the state of her inebriation. "I appreciate your concern, but I can get back on my own."

"Of course you can," Blackwall assured her even as he caught her by the elbow and propped her up. "And I'm coming with you." She threw her head back and laughed.

"You've won me over."


End file.
